RICK STEVES

So, after having a delicious cheeseburger at Five Guys (I figured that the perfect burger would be an appropriate meal soon before leaving; there probably aren't too many great, Five Guys-esque burgers in Italy), I got back home to discover the UPS guy blocking the entrance to our driveway. He wasted some precious seconds of my life to deliver the Rick Steves Money Belt, a nifty looking little contraption that is allegedly helpful with carrying valuables while travelling. One minor problem: it says you wear it under your pants. Where, exactly, is this thing supposed to go? What happens if you need your money/passport? Tell the police "wait one second while I reach down my pants to grab my super sweet money belt"? Because I don't know how to say that in Italian.